Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
