I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
