Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
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