You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize