She went from zero to smokin in five shots
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Randomize
