Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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