i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Randomize
