Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Randomize
