Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize