it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Randomize
