I think my vagina is haunted
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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