There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
