I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
The Olympian is in my bed
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
