i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Randomize
