Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
either way he was missing a nipple.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
