Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
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