so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
