Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
