i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
