Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Randomize
