I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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