honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
