Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
