Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
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