so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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