Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
