The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize