i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
We have started to decorate penises.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
