Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
