Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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