mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
