so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
