I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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