my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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