dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Randomize
