I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
