is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
