Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
