If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Randomize
