3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
