And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize