My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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