i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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