sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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