Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
