drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Randomize
