her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
