Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Randomize
