I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
