im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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