Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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