but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Randomize
