Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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