Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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