I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Randomize
