i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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