if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
