I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
