i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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