Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize
