I wannas sexs uuuuu
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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