Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
