Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
It was confusing and full of hummus
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Enjoy the penises
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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