Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
