I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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