Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
What drink are we having for lunch?
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
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