your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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